ONE DEAD BUG As a member in good standing of The National Dead Bug Owners Association I guarantee this to be an authentic Dead Bug. We do not deal in fake or live Dead Bugs. Dead Bugs as pets: Dead Bugs make perfect pets. No vet bills. No expensive pet food. No having to get up in the middle of the night and let it in or out. Will not wet on your new carpet. Will not dig up your neighbors flowers. Does not chase cars. Will not be kidnapped and held for ransom. With a Dead Bug as a pet you can go on vacation and NEVER come back. Dead Bugs do not fetch sticks, do not roll over, will not shake your hand, will not sit and beg at the table, run away and the best part is....they do play dead quite well. A dead bug makes an AWSOME gift. Perfect fot that uncle... (the one that breaks wind at the table and points at you) Dead Bugs make good pets for: Old people Old fat people Old fat lazy people Dead people Ugly kids Fat kids Ugly fat kids In-laws Outlaws Lawyers In-lawyers Out-lawyers Out Houses About the Bug: IT'S DEAD. NO refunds. Why would I want to take a Dead Bug back? I will take PayPal if you have money in it. I will NOT take your check. If you don't have money in PayPal you most likely don't have a job or any money in the bank. Get a job. Get a life. Get me a beer. Disclaimer: No fat ugly kids were harmed in the posting of this item. No animal by-products were used in the posting of this item. No Monosodium Glutamate was used in the posting of this item. The Dead Bug you receive may differ slightly from the one pictured due to the changing climate in the Dead Bug industry. You may just get a dead roach. **Don't smoke it.** Frequently Asked Questions Q- Is it really dead? A- Um....yes! Q- Do you have more than one Dead Bug? A- No. The other 23,967,863,427 are alive and doing well. Q- Do you know the name of this bug? A- Fred Q-Will you ship it to China? A- Do you have lots money? Q- Is the Dead Bug male or female? A- Yes Q- How can I save on shipping charges? A- Well...i would let it walk to your house if you want to save money that bad. Q- Does it carry any kind of guarantee? A- Yes. It's.....dead. Q- Why are you willing to sell me your dead bug? A- Because I love you, now go get me a cold beer. Q- If I buy this dead bug for my wife, will it improve my love life? A- Between you and your wife? No. You and the dead bug? Perhaps. Your wife and the dead bug? Probably. You, your wife AND the dead bug? We won't go there. Q- Is this dead bug from a smoke free home? A- No. That's what killed him. Q- How will the dead bug be shipped? A- In a plain unmarked brown box from an undisclosed location. I don't want the neighbors to know what we do for a living. Q- How much does the Dead Bug weigh? A- A little less than a dead horse. (check back in a week or so for the horse) Q- In the event the Dead Bug is not dead what should I do? A- I Suggest that you "stomp" on it. Q- What was "Fred" like? A-From his Epitaph: Fred was a bug that I used to know, he used to like to answer the telephone and every-now and then he'd take the truck into town for groceries. Yea...Fred and I got along real well...at the checker-board O'l Fred was hell and he never minded taken his time at doi'n the dishes but the women had him "runn'n wild and crazy as a loon". Shipping in the USA will be by USPS Priority mail. Outside the USA will be $400.00. If you would like to send a dead bug to a special family member or an ex-boyfriend....call for special pricing!

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